Probably one of the ways that I hear it on a regular basis is this…

“I’ll never work for a company like that again, they’re all corrupt”

“The church are all hypocrites and the institution is corrupt”

“I can never trust those types of people, they always let you down”

I get it  – I get it, and I realize how efficient it is as a strategy to help us feel safe and in control.  When the group has hurt or let you down, you know exactly what to avoid and where to never go again in order to protect yourself.  By grouping everyone together into an “institution” or “the church” or “those people”, it simplifies the equation of how to stay comfortable.

And it works, because as soon as we employ this strategy, we begin to collect evident to support the theory.  Suddenly the next marketing campaign from the CEO is obviously a cover-up for their dirty little secrets.  Passing the plate at a church service is obviously nothing more that the vehicle to fill the pastor’s deep pockets.  The email newsletter is obviously filled with arrogance and corruption.

All perfect evidence to support our story.

It’s a lot more difficult to live in the reality that a specific person hurt us or that a specific number of people hurt us.  That would mean that we are potentially running around in a world filled with hit men out to get us.  No where to run, no where to hide.  It’s no longer as simple and easy as avoiding the institution, company, church or group to live a life free from corruption of humanity.  Because let’s be honest, an institution can’t hurt you, only people can.

Fact of the matter is, when we pause to take a look, we’re probably as equally guilty of being the hit man as anyone else.

my next blog… The Institution CAN hurt you

One of these threads is how we deal with our own suffering and pain – something as common to the human experience as breathing, and the one thing we are all trying to rid ourselves of.  We all have these basic responses when we feel threatened that are literally part of our neurology: fight, flight, follow, etc.  They are great resources when we are facing an actual threat (kick em in the face, run Forrest run, do whatever the man with the gun says).

But what happens when the threat is gone and we keep utilizing these strategies to make it though life?

I love great story telling, and find that we are all master screenwriters when it comes to the narrative of lives.  Have you ever found yourself writing the script on a relationship, the company or even yourself before the story even unfolds?  You know what will be said, how the sequence of events will unfold and even who will play the villain  (funny, I’m never the bad guy in my scripts).  And have you noticed that real life seems to fall in line with how you have set up the world around you?  The bad guys are always the bad guys.  The relationship always unfolds as planned.  Coincidence?

Perhaps life doesn’t actually follow our narrative, but we only see and hear the evidence that makes our story work.  Studies have shown that we can only take in about 10 percent of all the information coming at us in any given moment.  We have no choice but to edit, and guess what usually makes the cut?  Yes, the stuff that fits the story.

THAT we write the story isn’t the problem – it’s human.  HOW we use and shape the story is where life is made.

So what does this have to do with suffering?  I’ve noticed that we often write the story that will reduce the amount of pain that we have to experience.  While it often gives us a false sense of security, it also closes down our ability to see what else it out there.  It limits our range of possibilities and breeds apathy.  And while we feel comfortable and safe, the dynamic story that we are capable of living… the one that isn’t as much about safety as it is about transformation… is never told.

⁵⁰ Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does corruption inherit incorruption. ⁵¹ Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed—⁵² in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. ⁵³ For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. ⁵⁴ So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”^[g]

⁵⁶ The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. ⁵⁷ But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

⁵⁸ Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Our organizations are filled with people not only eager to dehumanize those that they serve, but apparently, instructed to do so. In the name of shareholder value or team play or not rocking the boat…

During times of change, the only organizations that thrive are those that are eager to interact and change as well. And that only happens when individuals take brave steps forward.

Giving your team cover for their cowardice is foolish. Give them a platform for bravery instead.

cheese ball… right?

However, I began thinking of how fragile, and often volatile, relationships can be when not grounded in a shared vision and commitment.  In any given moment, we have the ability to create both hope or despair, both beauty or destruction.  Ever been in a space where you never knew which was coming?  As if it was out of your control to create the context for the relationship, so you simply contained it?  Where’s the joy in just enduring the people we say we love the most?

However, this is the space where character is transformed.  Where we choose survival or a new future.  It is in the midst of choosing the team over the time bomb that shapes us and others.